Have you ever been in a conversation where it feels like all the words you’re using are trying too hard?
Trying to prove a point.
Trying to clarify a thought.
Trying to express an emotion.
Trying to change someone’s opinion.
It’s easy for us to get caught in conversations where the dialogue is not about understanding and listening but about being right, first, better. About having what we’re saying heard even though it may not be understood.
But have you ever noticed that all the trying can be exhausting? And that at the end of the conversation there’s not a feeling of calm or peace but of agitation and frustration.
In Buddhism the third noble truth that the Buddha taught is non-striving. The notion that if we drop the effort an awakened state is possible. That without the struggle we see the truth.
The same is true for communication. The less we strive to be heard, right, better than, the less we suffer. The less we strive in our conversations the more we allow ourselves to get out of our own way, let go of our judgments, and be present within them.by