A lot of my students will say, “I’m tired of giving in and losing my power, sick of going along until I break and explode; I’m just not being heard and I don’t understand why my husband, children, co-workers, or boss isn’t listening to me, I’m not asking for a lot.”
If you feel like the above, the reason you aren’t being heard is because you’re trying too hard to change the wrong thing.
See there’s blame in this type of language, resentment, an attitude of better than, which indicates it’s the responsibility of the other person to change – for them to start listening to you. But … that’s the thinking that will keep you stuck in a state of suffering and a constant feeling of being taken advantage of.
You want to be heard, but you don’t have a plan for how to make that happen.
You don’t know exactly what to put your attention on to change the situation.
You don’t have a concrete finish line to move toward.
In order to be heard here’s what you need to do: change the way you communicate.
“Great!” they say, “I’m all in. How do I do that?”
And I show them.
But here’s the thing: nearly everybody who wants to be heard believes it’s the other person’s problem.
You’ve got to to start paying attention to your role within interactions and understand that you’re the only one who can change the experience for yourself.
Every student I work with has chosen to be the person who takes responsibility for the way they interact. To lean into the truth even though it’s difficult, and to become the person who can express themselves and be heard.
I’m extending the invitation to work with me if you’re that type of individual.by