Three Magic Words


After having lunch with one of my mentors I had this ah ha kind of moment that I want to share. I was walking back to the metro when I noticed how open I felt and there was this monumental sensation of choice. And the words that kept coming up for me were I don’t have to.

As you likely know, I pay attention to my words. I’m mindful if what I’m saying is kind, honest, and helpful not only to others but also to myself. And I had not noticed myself using phrases like I have to get this done, I have to make more money, I have to produce more content, I have to put myself out there more, I have to, I have to, I have to. But … the moment I said to myself I don’t have to it was like a dam broke open. Suddenly there was this realization that I not only didn’t have to be more than I was but also that I didn’t have to do more than I already do.

Because this was so powerful for me I wanted to share it with you. The practice is saying “I don’t have to be/do_________” and filling in the blank.

Would love to know if this sparks anything for anyone.



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  • Gaye Macy

    Oh my. The light went on. It’s like something that was behind me when I was paying attention to what was inside me, and what was in front of me, and what others were saying and how to respond rather than react, and what I needed to do and how to balance all these things. But you said this and it was like the still small voice. The small plain quiet shadow I’d overlooked that said I don’t have to. I don’t have to- do it all now. Check it all off my list today. Get it all done to be completed in this moment. In fact, to be me at all. I am me right now. I don’t have to do any thing other than that.
    It just opened up this wow moment, but a quiet, stop everything wow. Thank you. I totally got that.

  • Amy

    This means so much to me this week! Thank you!! I have been struggling with the “I have to’s” at work and home. It puts my stress levels through the roof. I think “I don’t have to be/do….” is going to be the first thing I say to myself before I even start my day now.

  • Gaye Macy

    But it’s 4 magic words.

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