Am I A Bad Person If I’m Not Happy?

Caring for ourselves sometimes sounds like we have to or should be positive all the time.

But what if we like our dark side? Feel comfortable in our hurt and pain?

What if our attitude is kind of what defines us? And, sure it’s snarky, maybe a bit sarcastic, but that’s just who we are?

Because our attitude isn’t all peaches and cream does this mean we’re not caring for ourselves? Or dare I say it – not good people.

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Imagine you pretended you were happy all the time. But because you’re pretending you’re actually not being honest with how you feel so you’re suffocating what’s really going on inside, which makes you even more annoyed and frustrated.

This frustration then comes out in many different ways – screaming at the guy in front of you to hurry up, rolling your eyes when you don’t get what you want, and then feeling like a bad person because of your reactions.


Pretending makes us suffer more.

If you’re being honest with yourself about how you feel the less likely you are to get into situations that force you to act in ways that aren’t inline with who you are.

Honesty makes us suffer less.

And if our goal is to take care of ourselves then I’d say that feeling what we feel no matter good or bad is the right course of action.

But … Yes, there is a but. The trick is not to dwell in the hurt, painful emotion longer than needed.

If your life is a constant state of sarcasm, cynicism, and attitudenals, as my dad calls them, then you’re creating more tension and stress for yourself.

So, yes, feel all the feelings you have, but notice if they are consuming you.  If they are, simply note them, gently let them go for right now, and move on.


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