As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
When I say, I don’t care – it doesn’t mean that I’m giving up, it actually means that I’m moving on. I’m letting go of the idea of who I should be and embracing who I actually am. Since the universe has a way of connecting everything together it’s no surprise that this morning my cousin posted a TED video to my aunt’s Facebook page about vulnerability. It was given by Brené Brown and ties in to exactly what my “I don’t care” phase is all about.
Ever since the 16th of February I’ve been examining my life and what’s truly important. What I’ve found is that relationships and connections are what make people truly whole. Whether you’re aware of it or not – it’s almost as if all we want is to feel a connection with people, but are ashamed to admit it. And although we are connected now to people all over the world, we are furthest away from those closest to us. This notion of connecting brings about many other themes – and, one, like Brown says, is being vulnerable. To have a connection, one must be vulnerable. One must jump without knowing where they’ll land. One must act without a guarantee of success or failure. Really, one must feel emotion and live emotion. Live the real emotion, not the emotion you’re supposed to feel – but what you’re actually feeling. But to do all of the above there’s a big kicker – and that’s this idea of accepting who you are and not the person you want to be or think you should be. Knowing that there are things about yourself that aren’t perfect, but loving them anyway, and understanding that you’re enough as you actually are is what Brown says leads you to live a life with your whole heart. Let yourself be seen – she says.
Before February 16th, I cared too much. I cared about what I was supposed to be or all the things I wasn’t but wanted to be. I have been kinder to others than to myself and I’ve been pretending to be better at things than I am. Well, I don’t care anymore. Today I embrace my vulnerabilities – by letting who I really am be seen. And trusting in myself to know that the person I’m finally showing to the world is enough.by