We’ve all gone through things. And often times when a friend, partner, family member is going through something similar we want to share our experience. We want to share what we went through to make sure the person knows what’s coming up for them, knows how to handle a situation. We share to show what’s worked for us and how maybe this will work for them. The problem though is that sometimes people don’t want to hear what we have to share, people want to go through situations on their own and come to their own conclusions.
Most of the time we’re sharing because we want to teach and show others what maybe they haven’t thought of, but do we know the other person wants to hear this information? Do we know that if we share the other person isn’t going to feel less than, frustrated, upset – thinking well that’s your experience not mine?
The truth is that we don’t know if the other person is going to benefit from what we’re saying – we really don’t know if it’s helpful at all. Instead of sharing information or giving advice freely it’s best if we ask the person whether they are interested in hearing what we have to say.
It’s much more helpful for someone to say, “Can I make a suggestion” or “Can I share with you what I went through?” or “Can I tell you what I wish others would have told me?” than it is to assume the other person will feel fine being given this information.